The Never Ending Story..

Im looking for something.. and I know exactly what it is... It just seems like whenever I "find it", its not what its suppose to be... The road map looks like it's been tossed into the river under the bridge that i'm traveling, only to float to the top with distorted, smeared direction. I remember how the map was. I know what its suppose to be.. The design of living has always been available for view....rear-view... Tamely I rest upon the facts at hand, in hand. The wheel that that I've sat behind the entire trip, glancing at a map with tainted direction to a place that I have always wanted to go.. needed to go.. Although.. Traveling to this place can only be possible if i swallow my pride of well-being that i've created. Having dipped my only source of direction in the watters beneath the road, while still having the memory of the ACTUAL way to go... What I see in the rear-view is what should be clear view.....straight ahead...Looking back into my old future.... It isnt too late to turn around..Retracing my tracks is better than coming to a dead-end... My destination is destiny

I.D. Please... :-/

Its something how a person can manually move you from one extreme to the next....while you being like a puppet is going along with the ride (because of trust of course). What happens when you have run out of patience and decency seems so far ahead?... Why is it that time after time you allow the same demons to attack. Within the same token, allow access to those points of weakness...there is no one to blame but yourself. You have somehow come up with a radar for trouble and expect others to care. Why is it that every day you allow your care for others to turn into the pity one would have for you only because of another bad decision? Why would a company need guests to show i.d. if everyone is allowed?... Your life is sacred, not just anyone should be welcomed in because at the end of the day, they all have to leave.

Moving Hands~

The limbs of depression massage depths of my subconsciousness. So far that realization of the very effect has been overlooked by the implanted happiness. Not just any happiness, but the kind that was fertilized with the water of a well that never runs dry. The depressive weeds grow fingernails that scratch the surface of my very being that perhaps the blood from my pierced flesh would paint the roses red. Not as nearly as red as my cheeks were on that day i heard those words. Harmful words. Deadly words. With each hurtful fungus growth, today, the gasoline of my power and the match of my intelligence has set aflame every negative growth. Letting no man put asunder the work that has been established. Addressing my falls wound from a limb I grow weary and bland. As though my years of living had tripled. Very much so does the movement of hands effect me..."Tick Tock" the hands say. "Ouch" is my response with every passing second I allow they allow me to predict my steps.

WoRdS?..wHeRe??
Words can't express really...hard to find them, I just feel them.. Day in and day out, words taunt me.. Before resting my head at night, I check under my bed and in ,my closet where they creep and accumulate from my daily endeavors. ... I feel a mixture of negativity with a sprinkle of serenity, which is a good thing.. i think..All I need is a cup of ears to tan in the ray of my words, rising in a pan of emotions and ready to serve... Serve the notice of the allergic ones, I'll take the blame.. hmm must just be my recipe.

):EMOTIONS:(

We all have them

sometimes they attack

other times they stray

emotions,feeling,love,peace.

they are all the same.

with every emotion that is built up,

there is a room for it.

many people don't realize that.

when we shut one off, it goes to another area.

we can't feel it, we don't realize it.

some days we feel so down and out, the next second you're laughing.

Sometimes its not even funny but that's how emotions work.

we even find ourselves heart-broken and the next moment furious,often times for no reason.

Its just that some rooms are closer to one another than others.

your mind wont allow you to become so overly exerted that every emotion is in the same place.

We sometimes have people in our lives that help us spread those emotions

positively, and negatively. And then at other times we allow the wrong ones to help. Ultimately its up to us who we let in our "house"

when we began to have too many emotions in one room ,

its time to relocate those emotions.

RELAX!!

Sometimes we get so caught up with the task at hand and don't realize that we are able to do whatever we want!!! We need to realize that we are capable of handling every situation and go through ever test/trial. When we get nervous and all antsy, we tend to loose control of situations. In some instances we tel ourselves, "This is too much, I can take it anymore!"...But When we are faces with the troubles and cares of life, we should just RREELLAAAXX!!!!... I know its easier said than done but failure is not an option. And if You do fail, do let it be because you didn't try.

"The race isn't given to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but he that endureth until the end"
-Ecclesiastes 9:11

I just started my job this week at the Children's Museum of Indianapolis. One part of the job is to take a tour of the museum and to express how we felt about a particular exhibit. There is an exhibits called " Power of Children". This exhibit is centered around Anne Frank, Ruby Bridges, and Ryan White. The exhibit has different displays about the children's' lives and the different obstacles they went through and how it applies to us today and maybe even changed someones life. The next day a 57 year old Caucasian co-worker felt it was appropriate to tell me that she was inspired by the 'Power of Children' exhibit and was very touching to her, but specifically the Ruby Bridges display. At this point I wasn't saying anything because I wasn't sure where this conversation was going. She goes on to say "I knew people who had colored maids"....."colored children were treated badly"....."My children weren't taught to say 'nigger'" .....At this point I felt like she was using that whole conversation to say those words. Whether she was or not, it had to be one of the most uncomfortable conversations I've had in my life. I don't understand how she could even feel OK about using those words in the same point to banish then. How can a person relate their positive feelings with a link to a negative adjective?

If not for you, then for someone else..

Sometimes we wonder why we go through the things that we do, why we have these odd experiences...I too wonder, like all the time... "If I never had a problem, how would i know that God can solve them" - Andre Crouch. Sometimes we experience things so that another person doesn't have to. How do we know that our whole purpose of living, is for someone else?...how do we know that what we do on a day to day basis is all centered around helping someone else.. I think about how sometimes it takes me so long to get dressed.. like i spend 2-3 hours finding a t-shirt, only to hear the phone ring as I'm on the way out the door....A friend in need "I'm stranded"...."help me".. who would've thought those last few hours, minutes, seconds were designed, were constructed in a way that i could help someone else as i'm ALSO helping myself (finding a shirt)...we never know..just a small thought to keep in mind.. Everything happens for a reason..

Scripted Improv

Tears fall beneath our pain

But bring joy like after the rain

Oh how we hate to let the feelings flow and

ashamed to rejoice the afterglow it shows

we hate to unmask those actors we hire

only to become what everyone else most desires.

Who do we inspire?

Do we live our days as though we are alone?

Or do we thrash our egotism and allow others our throne?

Can we really believe that we are more important?

or do we stop and realize we have been appointed.

We have a job to do, a banner to hold,

our faith we renew, the evil we scold.

Choose